A Recovering HomeSchoolEr - thankful for fear

Before we begin, I'd like to make a clear distinction between people who are HomeSchooling(v.) and people who are HomeSchoolers(n.)

Let me be clear, homeschooling as a verb means that education is taking place - at an alternate location. I am a public school teacher with multiple degrees in learning theory... and think homeschooling is awesome. IF they are learning. Learning can happen anywhere, if the environment is conducive to learning. Trauma informed learning theory tells us that children cannot learn if their body/brain is experiencing trauma. If home is chaotic, they won't  learn at home; but if school is chaotic, they won't learn inside a school building either. The building has nothing to do with it. It's all about environment. 

But I am a recovering Er. Yes, the textbooks and pencils were all located at home, but being a HomeSchooler(n) was SO much more than that. See, this is where the Cult of (n)HOMESCHOOLING comes in. Being a HomeSchooler(n) meant living in legalism, isolated from the heathen world, and becoming adept at cherry picking through the Bible. It meant living on the "Mormon Prepper fringe", afraid of everything from the government, technology, greedy power companies, CPS, nuclear power, family secrets, democrats, world hunger, mental health, big medicine, divorce, and viral outbreaks. My environment was not conducive to learning. 

And then there are kids who, for some reason, find safety in learning itself; the very act of learning becomes the one thing we can control and we escape through learning- completely throwing off the curve of all the studies. Sorry, science. 

Yep. That was me.

Are we all clear on the noun vs verb issue? Yeah? Ok, let's move on.

I've come to realize that what I was calling the "Cult of HomeSchool" was really the "Cult of Fear" and I was well indoctrinated. However, during that indoctrination period, I was somehow learning some seriously valuable skills, all taught as part of our Fear Curriculum and all based on the inevitability of WWIII. Things like:

How to bake with alternate ingredients when the food is all gone.

How to keep and butcher chickens (they produce food from trash when the food is gone).

Always have six months of (metal) canned goods in your basement to survive nuclear fallout.

How to distill water. Also keep water jugs around.

How to suture a wound and the human dosage of legal fish antibiotics.

Yeah, I've never been able to shake the habit of keeping at least 4 weeks worth of canned goods, water and TP...  I actually really like these skills. They're pretty dope. 

And for the first time the general public agrees with me.

But the fear is ridiculous.

Why would I be so afraid of the what-ifs when I already know how this crazy story is going to end? 

See, I know who's holding all the cards. He made the cards!

I know where I'm going when this world burns - and it will.

And I know what I'm going to spend the rest of eternity doing... and I can't wait to get started!

So why wait? I'll start now...

Thank you, Jesus for preparing me to live without fear - through an insane curriculum of fear! 

Thank you, Jesus, for showing me now what it means to be at peace. For using fear to teach me Your peace! Praise you, Jesus, for turning fear into peace, sorrow to joy, tears to songs of worship.

Praise Jesus, S**T happens. And it's gonna keep happening until Jesus comes back. 

Jesus is coming back! The question is, am I doing my job - in the middle of the s**t - and telling people who is coming back? It's time to get busy. 

Six months ago, I couldn't imagine saying these words...

Lord, thank you for fear.